Wow – there are a LOT of questions about tights! And I don’t blame you. There is some really confusing stuff out there.
I admit that sometimes I want to buy mustard yellow tights to wear with open-toed red velvet disco hooker shoes. So when Jessica says “but black ribbed tights are so borrrring,” I really do understand. That’s why god invented killer shoes.
Aside from that occasional strike of whimsy, here’s my position on tights, written for Nicole (she runs DeLeon Productions, which hires out acrobats. Check her out!):
- They are generally a cold-weather item, which is fun because it means that I can lay off the self tanner for a bit.
- Sometimes they make me feel skinny (unless the waistband causes “sausaging” which is humiliating)
- They should make your legs look longer and leaner.
- Nude and white pantyhose are never okay. Not even if you are a nurse.
There’s a fun blog called The Tights that Bind, which has lots of real-world pictures of ladies experimenting with their hosiery. Check it out and decide for yourself how crazy you’d like to get with your legsuit. Then ping me so we can discuss it over Oreos and a milkshake!
Here are some examples of what reputable retailers are trying to trick you into buying:
I’ve done a roundup of Safe, Advanced, and Crazy tights. These aren’t the craziest tights on the web (these are) – these are all tights that I can imagine Jessica considering…
ADVANCED: Proceed with caution.
And I’m sure you all know this, but just in case – closed toe shoes. I know that models do that thing where they wear open toed shoes with a bold tight. It’s great for an editorial spread in Lucky Magazine, but ridiculous when you are walking into a Chipotle to order a burrito bowl. And let’s be honest about which activity is most likely to happen in our lifetimes.
UPDATE: In anticipation of this post, Jessica submitted two examples of ribbed hosiery that she likes:
I think of ribbed stockings like this Simply Vera number — slightly textured but clearly sheer and these opaque tights from Bloomingdales along the same vein (warm, cozy, and WONDERFUL. Like a delicious sweater for your unshaven legs.
I may go to work wearing some wacky ass tights one of these days, just to make Jessica’s day. OOH – if we ALL did that and submitted pictures of our lunatic leg wear, I bet Jessica would be rendered speechless (imagine that!!). What do you think, Nicole?