I tried it: Advanced Tights

In honor of today’s post on tights, I gave some Advanced tights a shot. I picked them up at DSW (a two-pack for $12!). I was worried about the color of the tights making my legs look short (most likely an irrational fear) so I wore them with a really short skirt and really high heels. Then I spent the day not leaving my desk because A) I was worried that my skirt was too short and people would think that I was making christmas money selling my flesh on street corners, and B) damn, those shoes are tough to walk in.

What do you think?

btw: the dress is from H&M and the sweater is from Nordstrom.

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The Skinny on Tights, for my friend, Nicole.

Wow – there are a LOT of questions about tights! And I don’t blame you. There is some really confusing stuff out there.

I admit that sometimes I want to buy mustard yellow tights to wear with open-toed red velvet disco hooker shoes. So when Jessica says  “but black ribbed tights are so borrrring,” I really do understand. That’s why god invented killer shoes.

Aside from that occasional strike of whimsy, here’s my position on tights, written for Nicole (she runs DeLeon Productions, which hires out acrobats. Check her out!):

  • They are generally a cold-weather item, which is fun because it means that I can lay off the self tanner for a bit.
  • Sometimes they make me feel skinny (unless the waistband causes “sausaging” which is humiliating)
  • They should make your legs look longer and leaner.
  • Nude and white pantyhose are never okay. Not even if you are a nurse.

There’s a fun blog called The Tights that Bind, which has lots of real-world pictures of ladies experimenting with their hosiery. Check it out and decide for yourself how crazy you’d like to get with your legsuit. Then ping me so we can discuss it over Oreos and a milkshake!

Here are some examples of what reputable retailers are trying to trick you into buying:

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